


Hello Neighbor

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 09:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Living next door to Tony Stark is, unsurprisingly, a little bit of a nightmare but how much could you take before you are seriously planning to sneak in and murder the inconsiderate ass in his sleep?





	Hello Neighbor

You weren’t usually a passive-aggressive note kinda person and as you found yourself scribbling yet another post-it note for the inconsiderate asshole who had moved into the apartment next door you let out a frustrated growl. It had started innocently enough. The wonderful, amazing gay couple that you adored moved out into a gorgeous, much larger condo and you had waited for the arrival of your new neighbor with a little trepidation but general hope. You had been at work when they moved in and upon entering the hall you’d had to climb over several boxes just strewn about the place with a frown. It was okay though, perhaps they were moving in by themselves and with the parking restrictions had to get everything in the building as quickly as possible. You got how stressful moving was so you let it slide. When the thumping bass caused your bed to vibrate so much it woke you at 3 am you had simply taken a steadying breath and tried to focus on the fact that your new neighbor was still unpacking at this hour and deserved your pity, the music was probably just to keep them awake to finish what they could.

The next morning as you headed off to work you had placed a bright yellow post-it note on their door, not wanting to wake them after such a late night, which simply said, ‘Hello new neighbor! Welcome to our lovely little building. The recycling goes out tomorrow so feel free to cram as many of your boxes down by the basement door as you can.’ You had thought it was pleasant and informative and went on your way. 

Dragging yourself back home after what felt like the longest day in history your eyebrows raised when you found an orange post-it note stuck to your door. Wondering if it was from your new neighbor your face crumpled in disgust as you saw it was a drawing of a penis. Oh great, there was a very real possibility you were now living next-door to an overgrown man-child. Quickly snatching the note from the door you let yourself in and threw your bag on the sofa as you wondered what to do about this latest development. 

It was three days later that you made your next move. In that time you had been woken up in the early hours by the terrible choice of music echoing through the wall from your friendly neighbor, the hall was still littered with boxes only they were now empty as if waiting for the recycling fairy. You had ordered a pizza yesterday and strongly suspected it had ended up next door as you argued over the phone with the pizza place and for some reason, you were pretty damned sure was to do with the asshole next door, who you had yet to meet face to face, although you couldn’t prove it. You had lunch with your friend Joe who was well known for his daft responses to these situations and you were certain he would be able to help. Together you had drafted a selection of possible responses and so here you were taping up your note. It was a drawing of a T-rex and next to it you had scribbled, ‘T-Rex has tiny arms, much too small to pick up empty boxes and take them to the basement for recycling. What’s your excuse?’ You and Joe had giggled about that for a while as you wrote it and as you headed back to your apartment you had a smile on your face. It was petty but you were dealing with someone who thought a reasonable response was a drawing on a cock.

Waking the next morning you realised you had slept through the entire night. Perhaps your note had worked, maybe they had seen it and laughed a little before agreeing that they should probably move those boxes. You had a few blissful hours as you got ready for work, this was going to be a good day. Opening your front door you froze. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Turned out the reason asshat hadn’t kept you up was because he was busy making a wall of boxes in front of your door. Shaking your head you took out your phone and clicked a quick photo before sending it off to Joe. Eyeing the structure you wondered if you moved a few boxes if they would all come crashing down. Carefully you slid one of the middle ones towards you and placed it by your sofa. Returning to the door you removed a few more until you had an archway of boxes. Deciding to leave it there so you could get to work on time you spent your whole day fuming. Who the fuck did they think they were. It wasn’t funny and it was dangerous. What if there had been a fire? What if you had collapsed and the ambulance guys had to get to you and they were delayed because of the boxes? There was no doubt in your mind that this douche needed teaching a lesson.

And so, the war of passive aggression raged on. You would tape a message to his door, he would tape a meme to yours. ‘Hey I just met you and this is crazy but pick up your shit you lazy asshat.’… ‘Dear recycling police, how about you clear up your own card box castle before picking on mere minions.’ … ‘I know you have a kick-ass sound system but if I wanted to sleep in a nightclub I’d pick one with better choice in music than you.’… ‘Sounds like you’re stressed, here have this…’ As you glared at the tampon taped onto the note your patience finally snapped.

Storming over you hammered on the door, not knowing who was going to answer, for all you knew it could be some little old lady with crap taste in dance music. The door opened and a squirrelly looking brunette pushed his glasses up his nose, obviously uncomfortable with the rage that radiated off you. “I have had enough. Seriously, who the fuck do you think you are? You move in here and leave a mess everywhere then play your music when everyone else is trying to sleep and…” You paused and the moment of silence was filled with the unmistakable sound of a woman faking an orgasm. Looking at the man with surprise you could see his cheeks flush before he glanced over his shoulder then back to you. 

“I don’t live here. This is my… friend, Tony’s place. Look, he’s not a bad guy just a little wired. I am so sorry if he’s been upsetting you, I’m sure he didn’t mean to.” The nervous guy rubbed the back of his neck and looked at you apologetically.

“Hey Bruce, the connection is 78% faster now I’m piggybacking off the guy next door with the stick up his ass.” The voice rang out before you saw him and by that point, the burning fury within you had you at the point where when you did speak your words sounded calm and measured.

“You’re my new neighbor, but I know you’re stealing my wifi to watch porn. Can you not? And while you’re at it maybe you could clear up your shit in the common areas, not steal other people’s pizza orders, not play your music so loud after, say, 11 pm? You live in this building with other people you asshole.” You glared at the man who seemed pretty taken aback by you.

“You’re… you live next door?” His eyes fell to the piece of paper in your hand with the tampon still attached and he winced. In all honesty, he’d figured it was some uptight guy he was messing with, not some hot chick who now thought he was a major dick. Shit. “In my defense, you have very masculine handwriting.” Bruce ran his hand over his face and shook his head. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes through sheer frustration, there was no way you were going to win this one so you turned on your heels and stalked back to your apartment, slamming the door as you entered. 

“Tony…” Bruce turned to him with a look of someone who had witnessed enough of his friends' errant behavior to last a lifetime.

“She started it!” he shot back defensively.

“What?” Bruce sighed as he closed the door.

“Yeah, she stuck up a note, hang on, I’ve got it here somewhere.” He handed Bruce the yellow post-it and watched as his friend read it.

“How is this starting it? It’s a welcome to the building note with a little information she probably thought was helpful.” Looking up at Tony, Bruce’s heart sank when he saw the hint of guilt on his friends face. “What did you do?” 

As Tony filled Bruce in on all the back and forth of the last few weeks he realised how bad things had got. 

The hammering on your door made you jump but you had no intention of answering it. Instead, you moved to your bedroom and watched Netflix on your laptop. You were tired and frustrated and would probably have to start looking for somewhere else to live. Falling into a restless sleep you were glad that you didn’t have to work tomorrow, maybe you could catch up on some much-needed sleep. 

It started at about 11 am. There was a knock on the door and you were surprised when you opened it to a huge bunch of flowers. Bringing them in you saw there was a note and you figured someone probably got the wrong apartment. ‘I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Tony.’ Taking a quick photo you sent it off to Joe to ask if you should really cave that easily but staying mad at your neighbor was about to prove more difficult than you knew.

12:30 you received a giant cookie with the words ‘Sorry I’m an asshole’ iced onto it.

2:00 a barbershop quartet can to your door and serenaded you with their very own version of Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.

4:30 a pizza you knew you hadn’t ordered along with garlic bread and a tub of ice cream were delivered and had already been paid for.

6:00 you sat down at your laptop and noticed the internet connection had gone again. Opening to the menu to reconnect you scanned the options and a small chuckle escaped you as you saw what you assumed to be your internet connection had been renamed. ‘Tony Stark will now be using his own connection to watch porn.’ You had to hand it to the guy, he was an irritating, thoughtless asshat but this was all one hell of an apology.

Deciding to let him know he was forgiven you left your apartment to a spotless hallway, not a single box in sight. With an amused smile on your lips, you knocked lightly on Tony’s door. It swung open and your new neighbor leaned nonchalantly against the door frame with a hint of concern beneath his mask of cockiness. You hadn’t really looked at him yesterday, hadn’t noticed that he was actually quite an attractive asshole. There was something about his eyes though, a vulnerability that made you wonder if that was the reason he pushed peoples buttons, to see how they would push back. “Hi, I’m you’re new neighbor. Welcome to the building.” You extended your hand as if the last few weeks hadn’t happened and this was his first night here.

“I’m Tony, it is lovely to meet you. I warn you, I’m not used to living with other people around so if I overstep then please feel free to come storming round here and yell at me. You want to come in for a drink?” His eyes searched yours hopefully and when you nodded the pure joy that spread across his face made your heart stutter. Maybe living next door to Tony wasn’t going to be so bad after all. “We can watch some porn if you’d like, I have my own wifi now.” Yeah, maybe not bad but definitely interesting.


End file.
